Something's Going On

The title of this post is also the title of one of my favorite songs.  It's by the group "Lambchop" and I can't stop listening to them these days.  You all should check them out (especially that song)

What a day today.  I worked from 10:30 AM to about 8:30, and it felt great.  I'm really getting good at this waiting tables thing (if I do say so myself).  I have to say, I've been very lucky with this job: GREAT coworkers, none of whom I don't get along with, a wonderful boss, very (VERYVERYVERY) good food, and a great environment for patrons and employees alike.  I find my days laced with comedy; jokes right up my alley are commonplace amongst these people, and that is probably the thing that has made me feel most welcome.  I can truly be myself at work.  And not just in a surface sort of way...  I truly feel comfortable reacting to the little things, the little encounters I have every day with utmost genuineness, and for that I am so thankful.  I work with a very passionate feminist from Tennessee, a goofy comic book enthusiast from Southern California, a girl from the ghetto (ghettoist of ghettos) of New Orleans, an extreme sports fan from Boston, an Actor from New York... among others.  It is so rich, in every way.  Rich is a very vague term that I've never been very fond of, but it truly is the word to describe this impossibly diverse group of GOOD people.  Again, very lucky.  And now they have a Seattleite via Walla Walla who can add his 2 cents.

I finished The Beautiful and Damned by F. Scott Fitzgerald today.  For those who haven't read it, it's known as Fitzgerald's real tragedy.  And tragic it is...  It's about two young folks about my age who come from well-off families and who fall in love with each other.  Their relationship soon turns toxic, and the remainder of the book is essentially about their downfall (though the end is ironically and beautifully about the male end of the relationship falling into 30 million dollars...  the downfall is not softened).  I loved the book because I've been in toxic relationships, and because I've felt as though I was indulging myself too much.  The characters are romantic to the extreme, evading all senses of responsibility, seriousness, morality, etc. in the name of that old "living in the moment" thing.  Yes, they live in the moment, and yes, I think I live "in the moment," but these characters and I are quite different, I think.  Because they find no joy in their own accomplishments, the only find small comforts in the places they end up.  That is to say, their joy is bred of luxury, not of productivity.
I won't lie and say that I don't find joy in luxury, because oh boy, I do.  And I think all of you might be able to attest to that (especially Mom and Dad...)  But I also find joy in earning things.  To truly believe that you've earned a comfort, no matter how small or insignificant that comfort may be, the fact that you've earned it is what matters.  And my appreciation of this, I think, I owe to all of you.  But most of all, again, to Mom and Dad.  And this is something that I am so utterly thankful for.  The characters in The Beautiful and Damned enjoy their luxurious lives to the point of utter decay and dismay.  On the other hand, I feel like I enjoy working hard to achieve a sense of luxury-be it material luxury, emotional luxury, or moral luxury--and I will never lose this essential part of me, and I owe it to my family.  You all are such wonderful examples for me.  Better than any of you will ever know.  ...perhaps I've gone off on too much of a tangent here...  let's put it this way: Thank God I have you all, and that you all exist not only in my mind and memories but in the very essence of who I am, in the very things that make me tick and make me smile.

I've really discovered, since being here, what small things make me happy.  Sitting on the floor of my balcony on my computer after work.  Waking up and moving slowly over to the coffee maker.  Saying good morning to my housemate Jon the same way every morning.  Sitting at my neighborhood bar and just watching people.  Clocking out of my job at the end of a difficult shift.  And let's not forget: RAW OYSTERS!  my new favorite food.  And if you've all got your doubts, just come down here and I will prove to you that these little things are AMAZING.

Tomorrow, I'm going to an art museum with a coworker of mine.  Then, I'm going out for a meal with a friend from home's family.  Then, I'm going to the reading of a new play at 6PM (which I heard about through an actor co-worker).

I will officially be home for Christmas.  And I can't wait to see everyone.  Thanksgiving was nice, but just not the same.  And I can't wait until I get to spend it with all of you again.

Love you all so much, sorry for the rambling blog post...

Kev